A Public Display

I can't do public displays too often. This is a fairly small suburb and chances of running into someone I know when I'm out and about are pretty high. I also live in a tiny townhouse complex where there is zero change of me walking out of my door without being seen. Not that my neighbors are busy bodies. Well, one of them is, but that's beside the point. Most of them are just kind people. Our kids play together and we all look out for each other. I'm not going to have folks worrying and organizing casserole deliveries just because I decided to get my rocks off. Still, I do have this week to play and I thought, it'd be a shame to not take advantage of the opportunity, so I decided on a teeny tiny public display. Even though I'm mainly a leg/foot girl, I decided an arm splint would a be better, more easy to conceal choice.

Here's the ingredient list. It's almost the same list I use for my soft casts, but no stockinette and ace bandage instead of self adhesive vet wrap.

I started by taping the splint to my fingers and wrists. I suppose I could have started with the padding, but I figured tape first would give me the most immobility.

Then came the padding. I didn't buy any real cast padding. I am using cut up quilt batting, the thrifty woman's padding alternative.

Last but not least, I wrapped it in an ace bandage to conceal my handy work and give it the appearance of actual injury. 

Now you may be asking, how did I get this thing out of the house without being spotted. The secret is, the big purse.

I decided to go to the movies. I only take this purse when I go to the movies. It's really big. You could almost fit a large bag of popcorn, a candy bar and a drink in there. Not that I would ever do such a thing of course, but a less scrupulous person might use this sort of purse for sneaking snacks into a theater. It's also the perfect depth for concealing a bandaged forearm from the prying eyes of my neighbors. I made it to my car without mishap.

Driving without the use of my left hand was not as difficult as I thought it would be. The biggest challenge happened before I even left the house. I was dressed before I put this on, but I hadn't done my hair. One handed hairdos are a pain! 

I went into a store to buy snacks before the movie and the cashier didn't look at or mention the splint. Neither did the ticket seller. Some people gave it a passing glance, then went on about their day. That's the way I liked it. The movie was pretty good and the bandage stayed comfortable throughout the whole outing. 

After the movie I had to stop by a store where I knew my friend's daughter worked. I didn't know if the girl was working today, but I decided to err on the side of caution and remove the splint. The girl wasn't in the store, but I was really glad I'd taken off the splint because when I got home, my car was mobbed by a group of happy playing kids who wanted to chat. It's better that they didn't see any evidence of my little adventure. Still, it was quite fun and I would definitely do it again!

You'll Never Guess Where I'm Typing This From

I'm in my living room! But I'm also sitting in my wheelchair. My chair is a rusted, out old hospital style chair. It's heavy and awkward, but it does have one amazing feature. It was free! Here is photographic evidence.

Both the fur babies were quite curious about this strange "new" chair but only one had the nerve to approach it. The chair normally sits folded up in a corner so they don't notice it.

These photos against my basement wall kinda look like ransom photos taken by kidnappers. Maybe I should have stuck a copy of today's New York Times on the seat. 

Tonight I decided to do a double foot binding. With all my toes tightly folded down, it's impossible to get around without this chair. Foot binding is not terribly complicated.

This is a two ingredient recipe. Duct tape binds the toes and ace bandages wrap them up. It's as easy as One, Two... er Two.

I taped my toes down as tightly as I could. Wish I'd gotten a before pic so you could have some sort of comparison, but I didn't.

Here is the view from where I'm sitting. This is wonderfully immobilizing and I really am unable to walk while I'm bound like this. It has been interesting to roll around my very inaccessible home, trying to do simple tasks. Biggest challenge: filling an ice cube tray!

I may do this again a bit later in the week. 

Four Years Later, I'm Back! Did Ya Miss Me?

Okay, I seriously doubt anyone's watching at this point but I am gearing up because I have the house to myself next week and I am in the mood to indulge in some foot and ankle wrapping! I have picked up supplies and I am stretching the tendons in my feet so they will be ready.

In the meantime, could someone please buy me a power wheelchair? I have no way of transporting one. I can't really store it without arousing suspicion, and yet... WANT!

So What Do You Do When He's Not Out There?

And realistically, he's probably not. Sometimes I figure "well no big deal, I can just have a few encounters, meet some nice people and have a bit of fun along the way. That's enough." I tell myself. Other times I think "oh how sad, there really is no soul mate for me." Just at the moment I'm engaged in a light to moderate pity party. It'll pass but for now, poor me!

I Can Haz Ballet Splints?

Puh-leeze!!!

Adventures In Splinting

I like doing things to my foot. I like to bandage it, bind it, and brace it but, most of all, I like to immobilize my ankle. I do not know why I like this. There's probably some desperately fascinating psychological reason but, at this point, discovering it is entirely pointless. I like what I like.

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Braces and cam walkers are pretty neat but really none of them make it as impossible to move my ankle as I'd like.

Plus

Equals

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I made myself a terrible looking, plaster of Paris, short leg cast that worked pretty well once.

But a person in my "delicate condition" (somebody's mother) can't just go around applying a leg cast any ol' time she wants. (Mommas, don't let your babies grow up to need therapy.)

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The point is, I really haven't found a way to completely lock my ankle at a 90 degree angle. What I noticed though was that when I point my toe, I makes almost a straight line across the top of my foot and the top of my leg.

I began to think to myself  "Hey, what if I found something sturdy and flat to tape this area?" I could totally lock my ankle at 180!

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I didn't have anything sturdy and flat in the house when the inspiration struck me. (Seriously, how do I not own a ruler?) All I had was a giant souvenir novelty pencil. I got it out and taped it onto the top of my foot just as tightly as I could. That's when I had learned a very important lesson in human anatomy. It turns out, there's not much meat on the tops of our feet. When you smash a giant novelty pencil down onto that surface you hit several bones and lots and LOTS of delicate nerve endings almost immediately. The second I moved my foot I saw stars! Let me stop here and explain that, while I am super into the appearance of injury, I am in no way interested in actual pain. Not mine or anyone else's for that matter. This was not a happy accident for me. Cleverly, I had neglected to put scissors or crutches by me and walking was out of the question! I managed to claw my way out of it eventually, then I tried again with a kid made potholder for padding. It worked great but looked lumpy and odd (that was, coincidentally, my nickname in college *rim shot*)

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So off I went to the "Kinky Girl" section of my local hardware superstore to find the right "flat thing" for the job. I came up with this. The guy at the store told me it's called a strap tie. I thought that was a fitting name.

I gathered the rest of my supplies and went to work.

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The potholder keeps the rig nice and comfy and the tape holds it in place very well.

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Here's where I had to stop blogging yesterday. The stupid camera lost the pictures of the final wrap after I had already taken it off. But fear not gentle reader. I made the ultimate sacrifice for you and I rewrapped it this afternoon so I could show you the finished product.

It looks much better with the strap tie but, as you can see from the close up, it's still a bit lumpy and odd looking.

I'd like to try this one with a padded, soft cast to see if I can hide the bar better. But it feels great! If I could get the look right I would actually wear this in public. If that happens you will hear about it!

Ta-ta for now!

Adventures In Foot Binding!

Chinese foot binding was a horrible, monstrous practice which I do not applaud or condone! It offends my feminist sensibilities and thank heaven it was stopped.

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Still, the thought of those tiny feet propped up on a pillow all comfy gives me a teeny, guilty thrill.

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It also inspired me. Obviously I couldn't and wouldn't want to do anything like that to my own feet. But I began to wonder how it would change the appearance of my foot if I folded my own toes and taped them up. I decided to try it for the second time yesterday.

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Since it is my second time doing this, I already knew how important it was to have the crutches at the ready. Once your toes are folded under your foot, it's not impossible but it is quite painful to walk without them.

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I start by putting on an old sock. Unless you like duct tape against your bare skin, I'd recommend it.

Yes, at one point in my life I did own a pair of purple socks. I think perhaps the dryer did me a service when it lost one of them.

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I find duct tape works well and gives the tightest bind and I use an Ace bandage to give it an "injured" look.

No, this photo isn't posted upside down. I actually had the bandage placed like that when I snapped the pic.

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I start with a few front to back pieces of tape. I find if you place one then wait a few minutes for the tendons to stretch, you can pull the toes down more with the next tape.

The one drawback to socks is you lose some of the pull because socks slip as you can see at my heel.

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 Then I wrap around the rest of the foot in regular bandage/cast fashion.

Looks very shiny and S&M if you ask me but that's not my taste.

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Here's a size comparrison.

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I cover mine up with an Ace bandage because I like the bandaged, injured, casted look best.

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I admit I like the look of an elevated leg all propped up on pillows but honestly, smashing tortured toes into the hard ground is just uncomfortable.

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I was able to leave it on for about 2 1/2 hours before I had to take it off. I regret that I didn't get any shots of me crutching with it but I have the materials and the purple sock so I'm sure I'll do it again.

Until the next adventure, my liberated toes wave goodbye to you!