Adventures In Splinting

I like doing things to my foot. I like to bandage it, bind it, and brace it but, most of all, I like to immobilize my ankle. I do not know why I like this. There's probably some desperately fascinating psychological reason but, at this point, discovering it is entirely pointless. I like what I like.

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Braces and cam walkers are pretty neat but really none of them make it as impossible to move my ankle as I'd like.

Plus

Equals

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I made myself a terrible looking, plaster of Paris, short leg cast that worked pretty well once.

But a person in my "delicate condition" (somebody's mother) can't just go around applying a leg cast any ol' time she wants. (Mommas, don't let your babies grow up to need therapy.)

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The point is, I really haven't found a way to completely lock my ankle at a 90 degree angle. What I noticed though was that when I point my toe, I makes almost a straight line across the top of my foot and the top of my leg.

I began to think to myself  "Hey, what if I found something sturdy and flat to tape this area?" I could totally lock my ankle at 180!

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I didn't have anything sturdy and flat in the house when the inspiration struck me. (Seriously, how do I not own a ruler?) All I had was a giant souvenir novelty pencil. I got it out and taped it onto the top of my foot just as tightly as I could. That's when I had learned a very important lesson in human anatomy. It turns out, there's not much meat on the tops of our feet. When you smash a giant novelty pencil down onto that surface you hit several bones and lots and LOTS of delicate nerve endings almost immediately. The second I moved my foot I saw stars! Let me stop here and explain that, while I am super into the appearance of injury, I am in no way interested in actual pain. Not mine or anyone else's for that matter. This was not a happy accident for me. Cleverly, I had neglected to put scissors or crutches by me and walking was out of the question! I managed to claw my way out of it eventually, then I tried again with a kid made potholder for padding. It worked great but looked lumpy and odd (that was, coincidentally, my nickname in college *rim shot*)

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So off I went to the "Kinky Girl" section of my local hardware superstore to find the right "flat thing" for the job. I came up with this. The guy at the store told me it's called a strap tie. I thought that was a fitting name.

I gathered the rest of my supplies and went to work.

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The potholder keeps the rig nice and comfy and the tape holds it in place very well.

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Here's where I had to stop blogging yesterday. The stupid camera lost the pictures of the final wrap after I had already taken it off. But fear not gentle reader. I made the ultimate sacrifice for you and I rewrapped it this afternoon so I could show you the finished product.

It looks much better with the strap tie but, as you can see from the close up, it's still a bit lumpy and odd looking.

I'd like to try this one with a padded, soft cast to see if I can hide the bar better. But it feels great! If I could get the look right I would actually wear this in public. If that happens you will hear about it!

Ta-ta for now!

Adventures In Foot Binding!

Chinese foot binding was a horrible, monstrous practice which I do not applaud or condone! It offends my feminist sensibilities and thank heaven it was stopped.

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Still, the thought of those tiny feet propped up on a pillow all comfy gives me a teeny, guilty thrill.

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It also inspired me. Obviously I couldn't and wouldn't want to do anything like that to my own feet. But I began to wonder how it would change the appearance of my foot if I folded my own toes and taped them up. I decided to try it for the second time yesterday.

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Since it is my second time doing this, I already knew how important it was to have the crutches at the ready. Once your toes are folded under your foot, it's not impossible but it is quite painful to walk without them.

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I start by putting on an old sock. Unless you like duct tape against your bare skin, I'd recommend it.

Yes, at one point in my life I did own a pair of purple socks. I think perhaps the dryer did me a service when it lost one of them.

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I find duct tape works well and gives the tightest bind and I use an Ace bandage to give it an "injured" look.

No, this photo isn't posted upside down. I actually had the bandage placed like that when I snapped the pic.

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I start with a few front to back pieces of tape. I find if you place one then wait a few minutes for the tendons to stretch, you can pull the toes down more with the next tape.

The one drawback to socks is you lose some of the pull because socks slip as you can see at my heel.

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 Then I wrap around the rest of the foot in regular bandage/cast fashion.

Looks very shiny and S&M if you ask me but that's not my taste.

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Here's a size comparrison.

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I cover mine up with an Ace bandage because I like the bandaged, injured, casted look best.

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I admit I like the look of an elevated leg all propped up on pillows but honestly, smashing tortured toes into the hard ground is just uncomfortable.

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I was able to leave it on for about 2 1/2 hours before I had to take it off. I regret that I didn't get any shots of me crutching with it but I have the materials and the purple sock so I'm sure I'll do it again.

Until the next adventure, my liberated toes wave goodbye to you!

Indulging My Inner Narcissist: Because She Is A Perfect Princess And Everyone Should Pay Attention To Her Always

The title there is only mostly sarcasm. When you think about it, blogging really is terribly self indulgent. That must be why I love to do it so much. So here's a bit about me. I have a fetish. Well I have a few fetishes I think. I love guys in leg casts, and bandages, and braces. I love guys who use wheelchairs too. I have no idea why. Probably because I wasn't breast fed or something. (Btw, the thought of inducing lactation and breastfeeding a full grown dude: also kinda hot) I doubt the whys of it are all that important really. But I will explore the "what" and the "who" and the "ugh" of being, single, middle aged, a parent, and kinky. Stay tuned and enjoy!